Journey to Self-Love: Learning to Love Yourself

I think we can all agree that everyone enjoys being liked by others. Walking into a group of people who are happy to see you, feels GOOD. As social creatures, it makes us feel loved, accepted, and like we are a part of something greater than ourselves. In today’s day and age, this  need for approval is heightened by our interconnected world on social media. We gauge our self worth on trivial things like how many likes we get on a picture, or how many people view our videos. Those metrics may feel good to look at, but is the opinion of others what we want our happiness to be reliant on?

Let’s Address Social Media Real Quick

From someone who spent four years at the University of Florida studying Psychology, let me be the one to tell you that social media can actually make us feel worse about ourselves. Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat are simply albums of people’s greatest hits…It’s NOT REAL! Furthermore, the algorithms are always changing on these platforms to make what they deem “good content” show up on top. Sorry to break it to you but this means that your content may not even be getting seen! But regardless, relying on other people’s judgement of you to determine your self worth is always going to disappoint you because…

Only you know your whole story.

Whether we like to admit it or not, we are all judgmental. Whether we vocalize our criticisms or not, most of us don’t jump to give people the benefit of the doubt. Think about the last time someone was late to a work meeting or class. Was your first thought “Oh, they probably had a flat tire on the way here. Poor them”? I highly doubt it. We don’t do this intentionally, and it doesn’t make us bad people, it just makes us human. This is why it is so important for us to be secure enough with ourselves to not be affected by the perception of others.

I’m someone who is very loud, bubbly, touchy-feely, and positive. I love that about myself…but not everyone does. People frequently perceive me as ingenuine, too loud, or just too much energy in general. For a long time I struggled with this, because I wanted people to like me; I wanted to fit in. But if people knew my story…how much emotional, verbal, and physical abuse I endured growing up, they would understand why it’s so important to me to make others feel encouraged, loved, and appreciated; why it’s so important to me to be the opposite of the environment I grew up in. I had to learn that people just don’t understand my story, and I’m not going to change who I am just because it makes someone uncomfortable. You shouldn’t either.

Love Yourself

Love yourself FIRST

Let me tell you something you may not have heard before. You are FREAKING AWESOME. No amount of likes, comments, or followers is ever going to show you that. This is true whether you have a million people who want to be your friends, or you’re that person that grabs coffee by themselves at Starbucks (I’m totally guilty of this). But you know what’s going to make you really awesome? Believing that yourself. Not letting some girl behind a keyboard tell you that, not letting society tell you that, but being able to look at yourself in the mirror and being happy with the person in the reflection. Do me, and more importantly, yourself a favor and go to a mirror tell yourself just how great you are. Because you are wonderful! Your story may be filled with sadness, pain, and mistakes, but guess what? All of our stories have some of that (and maybe even a lot of that). That doesn’t define who we are, or who we are meant to be. And we ESPECIALLY shouldn’t let other’s opinions affect that view.

Channel this little rock star whenever your self-love tank is on empty:

We, as a collective, need to embrace the reality that not everyone is going to like us.

Whether it’s a personality clash, a misunderstanding, jealously, or they just don’t like your face…people can and will dislike you. Instead of  focusing on those people, embrace the wonderful, unique human you are. Learning self-love is an important skill we, too often, neglect. When we make our happiness a priority, we will attract people who complement us and will love us for who we are. Through this personal growth, you may find that some of your current friends may fall to the way side.

With this reality…

It’s time to pick the weeds and leave the flowers. Make the person who treats you the best, and makes you feel the most loved BE YOU. Worrying about the opinions of others who don’t even know your story is wasted energy. Now go out there and be the person you want to be, because you are awesome just the way you are.

For an in depth lesson in Self-Love, click here!

If you are in need of some additional encouragement, check out some of my other motivational posts:

It Starts With Courage

Be a Fighter

25 Quotes to Help you Dominate Today

What This Year has Taught Me

Stop Settling and Start Living

Thank you so much for reading and please share this post with your friends!